Engaging Conversations | Inspiring Dialogue, Empowering Communities
Welcome to Engaging Conversations, the podcast that connects you with the pulse of our local communities.
Hosted by Leon Goltsman, Co-Founder of Ecolibrium Headquarters (EcoHQ), each episode invites you on an inspiring journey into the stories that shape and uplift our neighbourhoods.
From visionary leaders and industry experts to everyday heroes making a difference, Engaging Conversations offers an exclusive look into our society’s diverse and dynamic fabric. This podcast is your gateway to broadening your perspective, building meaningful connections, and being inspired.
Please note that the views and opinions expressed by guests on this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or EcoHQ. The discussions in this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered professional, financial, medical, or legal advice. Listeners are encouraged to seek independent professional advice before making any decisions based on the content of this podcast.
Tune in, join the conversation, and discover the people, places, and purpose driving positive change.
Engaging Conversations | Inspiring Dialogue, Empowering Communities
#31 - The Hidden Power of Early Leadership Development and Emotional Intelligence with Sophie Firmager
What if the leadership skills our world desperately needs aren't being taught in schools at all? Sophie Firmager, founder of the Realised Potential Group, reveals why the foundation of authentic leadership begins much earlier than most realise – often before the age of seven, when our core belief systems are formed.
Drawing from her extensive experience coaching CEOs and executives across global organisations, Sophie explains how the same principles that transform corporate leaders can revolutionise how we raise our children. The conversation challenges conventional wisdom about child development, highlighting how emotional intelligence, resilience, and self-awareness form the bedrock of future leadership capacity.
"The first seven years of our lives as children are spent as sponges," Sophie explains. "That's where most of our belief systems are formed, and not all of them are positive." These early beliefs become the unconscious drivers of our adult behaviour, affecting everything from how we handle mistakes to whether we speak up when something feels wrong.
What makes this conversation particularly valuable is that it bridges the gap between leadership development and parenting in practical, actionable ways. Sophie shares specific techniques parents can implement immediately, including creating psychologically safe spaces at home, modelling healthy boundaries, and engaging in regular "life balance" check-ins with children to help them develop clarity about their values and satisfaction.
Perhaps most compelling is Sophie's insight about what truly builds inner confidence in young people. Rather than external validation or achievement, she emphasises the importance of helping children "connect to who they are and develop an inner self-validation." This intrinsic motivation serves as the foundation for collaboration, healthy relationships, and navigating an increasingly complex world.
Ready to transform how you nurture the future leaders in your life? Listen now and discover the small but powerful actions you can take this week to start raising leaders from within. Connect directly with Sophie at sophie@realisedpotentialgroup.com to learn more about her groundbreaking programs for young people.
Thank you for listening!
Hello and welcome back to Engaging Conversations. I'm your host, Leon Goltsman, and each week we speak with people who are reshaping what's possible for our families, communities and future. Today's episode is one I believe every parent, teacher and mentor needs to hear, because it's not just about leadership and business. It's about the kind of leadership we model, teach and nurture at home. My special guest is Sophie Firmager, founder of the Realized Potential Group, a leadership coach who spent decades helping people discover who they are and how they lead.
Leon Goltsman:But in this conversation we look at what happens when we start that journey earlier with our kids. We talk about emotional intelligence, resilience, identity and the belief systems that shape us, often before the age of seven, and why we can't just leave this important work to the schools or systems that weren't built to do it, to the schools or systems that weren't built to do it. This episode is made possible thanks to the ongoing support of Niaz Cannoth and the team at Invest Intelligence, proud partners of this program and the champions of purpose, progress and future leadership. Their belief in building stronger families and communities aligns powerfully with everything we're exploring today. If you've ever wondered how to raise confident, emotionally aware kids who can thrive, not just survive in an unpredictable world. This conversation will give you the tools and inspiration to start right where you are. So, without further ado, let's get into it.
Sophie Firmager:My name is Sophie Firmager, and who I am as a person is someone that is a curious seeker of truth and knowledge, and I'm a wife, I'm a mum and I'm a lover of all things nature and wellbeing and human potential. And that's a nice segue into what I do, which is that I am the founder and CEO of Realize Potential Group, and I support individuals and organizations with reaching their potential through coaching, training and leadership development programs.
Leon Goltsman:And you've worked with many CEOs, creatives, educators and everyday people trying to find more meaning in what they do. So, Sophie, why do you think so many people feel disconnected from their own potential and what tends to awaken it again?
Sophie Firmager:Yeah, that's a fantastic question, primarily because they are lacking clarity into what their inner strengths are, their inner values are and their North Star.
Sophie Firmager:Their purpose and the way to awaken it really is to create space and the right coaching questions to really help them explore what is going on on the inside. To really help them explore what is going on on the inside, to tap into the insights that you have within, rather than going outside and externally seeking all of those things. So in my coaching conversations with whether it's leaders, educators or parents or creatives, it's often the clarity begins with specific exercises that allow them to dig deeper into their subconscious. So a lot of the things that are within them, they're in there because of conditioning from the past and until we make the subconscious or the unconscious conscious, we will continue to go through life with our blindfold on and cord fate on and called fate, and it seems like from many leaders like yourself and people who guide leaders, one of the common denominators is that most people already know the answers to whatever it is, but they just sometimes need someone to awaken them.
Leon Goltsman:Do you consider yourself to?
Sophie Firmager:be one of those people, absolutely yeah, I do consider myself to be someone that helps people awaken to their inner beauty, their inner potential and the gifts that have within. So let me give you an example. I had a CEO come to me completely feeling disconnected to their purpose, feeling discontented and also just felt like a bit of a hamster in a wheel, and what we did through our sessions was to get to the root cause of this discontent and the real reason for why he was feeling the way he was was because he was rerunning old values. So he has changed, his identity has had changed over the years, but yet he had stayed in the same profession, in the same organization and doing the same things, and that was bringing awareness to that was the catalyst for the change.
Leon Goltsman:And it often starts off with just something like that that just awakens it within.
Sophie Firmager:Yes, exactly.
Leon Goltsman:And so what I'm hearing and understanding is that real leadership begins with knowing yourself not just your strengths, but your stories, values and blind spots. What does self-leadership mean to you, and why is it the foundation for every other kind of leadership?
Sophie Firmager:Yeah, self-leadership means to me knowing yourself, living your truth, essentially. So, once you understand who it is that you are behaving in a way that aligns with that, and the sooner that you understand your values, your strengths, your purpose, you are able to live in alignment with that, intentionally. Otherwise, it's again hamster in a wheel. So, as an example, I have worked with a number of leaders that were emulating the leadership style of their leaders, because they thought that was what leadership was all about. What that did was it completely disconnected them from the people in their team, their stakeholders, because they weren't living their truth.
Leon Goltsman:And they weren't authentic.
Sophie Firmager:They weren't authentic and people can see that. Exactly, and it affects the trust. And when you are leading from, I guess, a story that you tell yourself of what leadership should be like, you affect the trust that you have with the people in your team.
Leon Goltsman:And that is what personal growth and professional growth have in common.
Sophie Firmager:Yeah, exactly Exactly right. Personal growth leads to professional growth.
Leon Goltsman:It's interesting because we know so many people and one of the things is that they tend to spend decades trying to find purpose, often feeling stuck in roles, routines or even expectations that no longer serve them or other people. Now, in your work, what helped people reconnect with their purpose? And, sophie, how do you know when they found it?
Sophie Firmager:And Sophie, how do you know when they're founded? So people do spend decades trying to find their purpose. There are many techniques and exercises that help people identify their purpose. I always like to start with values, which is what is important to you and what is important to you right now, if we're talking about career what is important to you about your career? And then we segue into strengths, and to identify strengths is basically asking them what is it that they're doing when they feel in flow? It goes through coaching questions, but I also have the strength profile tool that helps them indirectly find their strengths. And then, once we identify their values so what's important to them? And then what is it that they do well and their gifts we then move to okay. So what actually fulfills you and what does it look like when you are using your gifts and what's important to you to give to others to make the world a better place? So purpose is something that is bigger than you. It's something that is not just, it's not about you. It's about how you're giving to others.
Leon Goltsman:But it's interesting that when you give to others it's unconditional really, but when you do good for others, you often find that it comes back to you tenfold 100%. And when you don't expect it. That's when the magic really does happen, doesn't it?
Sophie Firmager:It really does, and it comes from psychology research. So there's someone that I always reference in all of my trainings Martin Seligman. He's the founder of Positive Psychology and he founded the model for flourishing, and it's the acronym PERMA. So P stands for positive emotions, e for engagement, r for relationships, m for meaning and A for accomplishment. But how many of us only focus on the A, especially in our careers? We think that we are performing beings, we think it's all about accomplishment and we stop focusing on the first four key pillars of well-being and flourishing. And so meaning is one of those, and meaning, as you say, is actually self-fulfilling once it's achieved. So when you are contributing to purposes, to causes that are bigger than you, you are actually feeling better about it.
Leon Goltsman:Well, there's also research that supports that people who share and give to the community or to others, they're healthier, they live longer that's right and most of all, they're happier. They'll live more meaningful, purposeful lives.
Sophie Firmager:Exactly, and there's a study by Harvard. It's an 85-year-old study that tracked the same sort of people throughout their lives to determine what truly drives happiness, and what they found was relationships.
Leon Goltsman:Some people think it's scrolling.
Sophie Firmager:Yes, they do.
Leon Goltsman:Scrolling the social media, but really that's only a short-term dopamine boost. Isn think it's scrolling? Yes, they do Scrolling the social media, but really that's only a short term dopamine boost, isn't it?
Sophie Firmager:Exactly, and long term?
Leon Goltsman:I mean, we can have a whole discussion on dopamine and all the other chemicals that are released from the technology, but don't you think that, because of the day and age that we're living in right now, maybe that's the reason why people aren't focusing on the other, more essential things, because to some degree you've got to work at it, whereas this is instant gratification?
Sophie Firmager:Exactly, and we are all so dopamine poor these days because life has moved so much quicker and we have access to more information than we've ever had before and, as a result, we have this instant gratification thing going on and that depletes dopamine so quickly, and so we choose the scrolling and we choose to check goals off the list, purely because we are hungry for that dopamine hit, and that's probably why we're experiencing these short spikes that, like anything, is a drug, yeah, and we get a spike then to the bottom again.
Sophie Firmager:Yes, and that's not fun.
Leon Goltsman:And that's not fun so we're back to scrolling. Back to scrolling, but hopefully we're not doing any scrolling now, because what I'm getting from you is having the right system in place means that we can find ways to work across both corporate and personal spaces, and that's something that you've done and that gives you a unique lens of how human development plays out in different stages of life.
Sophie Firmager:Yeah.
Leon Goltsman:What have you noticed about the beliefs we form in childhood and how they shape the leaders we become as adults?
Sophie Firmager:The first seven years of our lives as children are spent as sponges.
Sophie Firmager:We are truly just taking in the world through our five senses and then, as soon as we kind of move into the reflective and the analytical stage of life, we start to make meaning out of everything.
Sophie Firmager:But that first seven years is where most of our belief systems are formed, and not all of them are positive belief systems. Some of them are self-limiting and unfortunately those are the things that drive behavior. And so if you are someone that learned that in order to live a truly flourishing life you need to perform or you need to be perfect, you are going to go through into any profession thinking that unless things are perfect, I can't take the first step, and that keeps you procrastinating, it keeps you from taking action and it keeps you from achieving your goals, whether personal or professional. So belief systems play such a huge role in the people that we become later in life, and as a coach, I have a lot of tools that allow me to connect to some of those belief systems that people have developed as children and clear or reframe them so that they can be free to actually make choices about who they want to be and how they want to behave going forward.
Leon Goltsman:So what I'm getting from you just now is that how important it is of catching leadership early. What would it look like if we started raising children as future leaders, not just in title, but in mindset and behaviour?
Sophie Firmager:So the thing that helps children or parents with developing some of those leadership skills early on like the clarity, like the confidence and the emotional literacy is helping children realise they're a driver in their life.
Sophie Firmager:As an HR director in my previous life, I was responsible for hiring people from entry level through to director executive leaders, and one of the most important skills that I looked for was empathy, was emotional literacy, was the ability to regulate yourself emotionally, particularly during stressful times, particularly through change.
Sophie Firmager:Knowing that the world and the environment is a VUCA environment where there's volatility, there's uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity. People that understand how to regulate their emotions and their behaviours in that sort of environment are the leaders of tomorrow. They're the ones that make sure that the organizations flourish, and when you are able to regulate your emotions, you are able to make discerning decisions. When you are faced with complexity and ambiguity, particularly with the advent of AI, it's super important to be discerning and use your critical reasoning. Now, a lot of these skills are not taught at schools and it is up to the parents to really ensure that they're fostering those kind of skills, but most parents don't have the time, they don't have the skills and it really rests on the child to weave through challenges, through life, in order to learn those skills.
Leon Goltsman:Well, sophie, you mentioned AI. Interesting enough, ai isn't really AI at all. What I mean by that is that it encourages people, even the most professional people, to outsource their thinking to a piece of code. Ultimately, that's what they're doing. And the problem with that and I've tested it, by the way, I am a pragmatist, so I will always question whatever it is. Even if I know something to be true, I'll question it. And then, even then, I kind of think well, hang on, is it really true? But that's a good thing, because I've noticed with AI, is you ask it a question, it agrees with you. And when I say, and I say you're wrong, this can't be it, it goes you're right, it's not. And then I'll scrutinize it again. And this is the problem At the end of the day, I find that when you understand how you get to something, that's where the education, that's where the learning occurs.
Sophie Firmager:Yes, absolutely.
Leon Goltsman:Whereas if you just ask a question and it gives you an answer, you kind of run with that and you think it's right. And to me, time has proven that people who are not entirely correct but believe they are, they're the most dangerous people to lead. And unfortunately, if these leaders present and future leaders are relying on technology to tell them how to run things, then we really there's never been a more important time than to create future leaders than right now.
Sophie Firmager:Yeah, absolutely, because you do have to connect to your inner wisdom. The thing is, inner wisdom occurs when you are struggling and when you are grappling with challenges that you must lean into and you can't be rescued from. So, as children of today are growing up, we have a lot of helicopter parents who are coming in and rescuing them and they're not really learning from those challenging experiences, and so that belief system forms that, oh, someone will always fix things for me, or I'll always be able to get things from an external source, and they stop to rely on the inner wisdom and they don't build that inner wisdom. And so there is a huge element of allowing children to fall, fall over, make mistakes and be okay with failure, because that leads to the wisdom.
Leon Goltsman:Yeah. So parents often ask how do I raise confident children in a world full of comparison and noise? I mean, people are always competing on social media, neighbours children are really finding, and not just children. But we could see from the amount of mental health and the suicides in young children a lot of that. People don't even realise what's going on until, unfortunately, it's too late. So, from your experience, what really builds inner confidence in young people and how can parents or educators support that process?
Sophie Firmager:the first step is helping them connect to who they are and developing an inner self-validation or intrinsic motivation around things. Because when you realize who it is that you are and you are proud of who it is that you are, you are less inclined to compare yourself to others because you've got a self-love within. And the other thing that really is crucial to teach kids early on is collaboration is what makes the world go round, whether it's you when you grow up to be an adult, in your family unit or in the community, or whether it's in the workplace. Collaboration is the only way things get done and how we build collaboration is through the schooling and how parents are raising them in their homes.
Leon Goltsman:But also I've found that having healthy boundaries is also a key thing. Well, it is for adults, but if children don't develop that early, how are they going to have this skill when they get older?
Sophie Firmager:Yeah, yeah. So healthy boundaries are of paramount importance. I personally the way that I teach my son healthy boundaries are of paramount importance. I personally the way that I teach my son healthy boundaries is by being the living example of what you know really leads to a flourishing life. So I have daily exercise. I do daily exercise. I eat nutritious food. Yes, I have days where I have cheap meals, but for the most part I eat really well. I make sure that I consume the right content throughout the day. So whether it's through TV, the movies that we watch, social media, so all of that, you need to create boundaries for the kind of content that you're consuming. So if he's watching me as that sort of living example that is setting those healthy boundaries and is feeling good in life, then he's going to be more inclined to adopt those practices.
Leon Goltsman:So you're being a great role model and, I suppose, a mentor and a friend.
Sophie Firmager:Yeah, exactly.
Leon Goltsman:So you've seen the impact of safe spaces in your work, places where people are encouraged to speak up and reflect and grow. So how can we create similar spaces for children, one that supports emotional intelligence, values, discovery and leadership from within?
Sophie Firmager:Psychological safety is such a buzzword, but a lot of times it's used in organizational settings. It's supposed to mean that if you have a psychologically safe environment, that you have people that are more willing to take risks, to make mistakes, to use their voice, to speak up when things are not going right. But a lot of people outsource psychological safety to the organization or leaders right so, to the CEO, to the HR leader. They don't realize the part that they are playing in creating psychologically safe space, and the thing that children need to do is to realize that they need to take ownership for how it is that they show up. So, for example, if you are afraid to admit a mistake, use it as data, use it as when you're reflecting, or create space for reflection and ask yourself the question why is it that I'm afraid to make a mistake, or why is it that I'm afraid to speak up when I notice something that is not right and I want to use my voice to speak up against it?
Sophie Firmager:As soon as you start asking those reflective questions, you are able to get back to your values so what's important to you? And then you make values-based decisions around. Okay, next time I make a mistake. I value growth. So I'm going to own up to that mistake and I'm going to see feedback as the key to up-leveling. So there's no failure, there's only feedback. And that belief system helps you continue to value making mistakes, so that becomes a continued evolution process it seems like there is no such thing as a mistake, little milestones and you're breaking it down in little, little successes the way I see exactly.
Leon Goltsman:I know a lot of people talk about mistakes and and problems and issues. That only becomes that if it's not managed properly.
Sophie Firmager:So I've spent decades working with CEOs and senior leaders within top 100 organizations across the world, and whether it's to support them with driving organizations that flourish, or whether it's supporting them on their individual journeys and what we are doing now is we've created this incredible program. So, using the same sort of techniques that I have used for these senior leaders, we have tailor-made program for young children, helping them become future leaders. This program includes workshops, reflective journaling, small group sessions to really help with the skills individually tailored to build the capability of a future leader.
Leon Goltsman:So, sophie, I've seen the glimpse of this program, and it's not just one program, there's several there that are tailored, as you said, to individual needs of future leaders. Not only does it give some kind of hope to those people who might be experiencing some challenges, some kind of hope to those people who might be experiencing some challenges early on in life, that I could see this being so beneficial to the parents and to the people who put a lot of faith and love and trust in these people. I wish I could say the system is always going to look after them. Unfortunately, we've seen that it doesn't always look after the best interest of people, and so it really is up to the individual parents and guardians who look after the future generation and the future leaders of today. You're certainly making that possible. So, sophie, if someone listening is thinking I want this for my kids, but I just don't know where to begin. What's the one small but powerful action they can take this week to start raising leaders in their own home?
Sophie Firmager:So one of the most powerful actions that a parent can take this week is to sit down with their child and have a conversation to get on the same page, one where you're actively listening to what it is that is going on for them. You're actively listening to what it is that is going on for them, listening without judgment, listening without interjecting, and wait to see what you learn, because you could discover the very thing that will bring to light how you can support them in their future.
Leon Goltsman:Or ways that you can help them support themselves.
Sophie Firmager:Yeah, exactly right, exactly right. One of the things that I do with my own child every three months to get him clear on what's important to him and how satisfied he is in different parts of his life is a life balance activity, and that helps him get clear on what it is that he needs to move forward in that term.
Leon Goltsman:Is there a particular age group it works for, or is it something that works for everybody?
Sophie Firmager:Oh, it works for everyone. It works for adults too.
Leon Goltsman:So, look, I've seen this tool. It's a very effective tool and I can see why it's so successful. For anyone that wants to contact you and get some more information, what is the best way they can reach out to you?
Sophie Firmager:They can send me an email, sophie, at realisedpotentialgroupcom.
Leon Goltsman:Okay, so I will put that in the show notes. There'll be that and other links perhaps. But, sophie, you certainly have the tools, you have the know-how, you have the experience to not just make it easier for people seeking to make it to the next level, whether it's their personal or professional life, but you've also got the ability and your upcoming programs, which I really can't wait to share with the audience. I think that's going to be a real big game changer, especially in a day and age where there are a lot of unpredictabilities and we do rely on a system that often can let us down. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world and so many people outsource their faith and trust in so many other people and other organisations. But I think, as you've said earlier and you've hit the nail on the head, is you've got to look for the solution, for the answers, from within.
Sophie Firmager:Absolutely.
Leon Goltsman:So thank you very much for joining us and looking forward to doing great things together.
Sophie Firmager:Absolutely. Thank you so much, Leon. It's such a pleasure to be here with you.
Leon Goltsman:And what a powerful conversation that was with Sophie Firmager a reminder that leadership doesn't start with a title. It starts at home, in the way we guide, listen and lead by example. We spoke about the real gaps in our system, the things schools don't teach, the emotional challenges our kids face and the importance of helping them build inner strength and not just academic results. And not just academic results. Sophie's work through the Realize Potential Group gives parents, carers and educators the tools to raise confident, emotionally intelligent future leaders, starting now. If you'd like to connect with Sophie, reach out directly at sophieatrealizepotentialgroupcom. I'm sure she would love to hear from you and I want to hear from you too. What did this episode spark for you? What are you doing today that your future child, student or community will thank you for? Email me anytime at leongoltzman at ecohqcomau, because this podcast isn't just about the voices we feature. It's about the community we're building together.
Leon Goltsman:If this conversation resonated, do three quick things. Follow the show on your favorite platform and, yes, we're available on all major ones. Share this episode with someone who cares about raising the next generation. Share this episode with someone who cares about raising the next generation and leave a quick review to help others find and join the conversation. Once again, a special thanks to Niaz Kanath and the team at Invest Intelligence, proud long-time supporters of this program and believers in purpose-driven progress. I'm Leon Goltsman, and until next time, let's keep showing up, let's keep leading and let's keep building the type of future that we can all be proud of together.
